half week in to six week challenge

Hi everybody,thought now would be the perfect time to do my blog as i actualy have 5 mins :) well im now well into the first week of my 6 week challenge and i have to say im really trying my hardest and after a night out of dancing and drinking perhaps a little too many syns of vodka i feel refreshed,i felt a teensy bit good about myself,a little bit of confidence shimmied its way in to my head and has given me a bit of a refreshed boost i think i much needed :) it was nice to get dolled up and put on my gladrags,albeit in a lot bigger sizes than i want to be in but was nice all the same and im sure the dancing will somehow have cancelled out some of the vodka ;) ive been struggling since a little before christmas with being 100% on plan and although i havent eaten what i used to some old habits do creep in a little and it is hard to get your head back in the dieting game as so to speak. I hate those weightwatcher adverts about "playing weightwatchers" i find it a bit of an insult really to all us people out there that want to lose weight,its not a game,its not really that much fun (apart from the actual losing weight getting smaller and buying new clothes part lol) and it can really test your mental health!seriously!you feel sad angry desperate and sometimes its hard to even face food let alone thinking about cooking it,but these days do pass,some times it takes a little while,some times it takes a long while and sometimes not all of us are ready at this precise moment for such a big life changing thing but if there is one thing that kickstarted my brain on saturday was that i do want to go out more and i do want to feel confident and i do want to love myself and feel happy and i dont want my life to be dictated by what i weigh and what clothes size i wear,my journey started lass year and it certainly hasnt stopped and i will keep battling on until ive won this war,because being worst enemies with your body is like being friends with the devil. A good friend of mine said to me last week that i shouldnt let my weight hold me back,which sounds simple enough,but it finally clicked,life doesnt just stop when your losing weight,moments will come and go and before you know it half your life will have flashed by without you even realising it. I have spent most of my life doing this and i think what a shame as its me that is holding me back,why should life start once i become thinner?it should start now,now that ive started these changes,and although i wont always believe my own words this is certainly true and im certainly going to try my hardest whilst losing my weight for it not to hold me back anymore.

challenges and weightloss deadlines...

Well after my little dieting melt down i havent blogged since as my head has been a bit out of the dieting game as so to speak,i havent been on plan and have just had a break,something im sure il regret on the scales come wednesday,but i just felt i needed to kind of clear my head a little and now im ready and raring to go as of tommorow,even though i havent been very bad today anyway. Because of my little blip and slight mini breakdown last week i have set myself a challenge,a weightloss challenge which is as follows- from this wednesday im giving myself 6 weeks to lose a stone,which is totally do-able when your as big as i am,and im really going to try my up most hardest to do it,plenty of super free,plenty of body magic and see if i can do it. If i cant then i am going to give cambridge a try. Im confident i can succeed in my challenge and have fantastic support at my slimmingworld group so we shall see how i get on. The thing is,slimmingworld is brilliant,and i really cant rave about it enough,there is no doubt in my mind it really has changed my life and has reset it in terms of thinking about the sort of foods that are good and healthy to eat,and if i do somehow fail at my challenge and do cambridge i will defo still follow the slimmingworld plan afterwards,but im hoping i can prove to myself that i can do it with slimmingworld and slimmingworld alone so come wednesday let the challenge commence......

sick and so very tired

Well today has been a bad day to say the least,last night was my weigh in and i lost,drum roll please.......half a pound.yes thats right,you read right,half a pound,and im not a happy bunny. I AM SO SICK OF HAVING WEIGHT ISSUES! I am so sick of having to watch what i eat,of planning every meal,most of my whole life pretty much to date has so far evolved around food and what goes in my mouth. From a child of just 5 being teased and bullied for being a 'fatty' to then losing weight in my teens to being anorexic then attempting to be bulimic to drugs,diet pills-both illegal and legal to being how i am now. All i want is to feel good,to look good,to wear what i want not what i have too,to not obsess and think about food every second of the fucking day! I was even thinking of trying the cambridge diet instead of slimming world to completely eliminate food until my head is properly in order,there is no doubt in my mind that slimming world is definetly the best plan completely for a healthy life style and also a fantastic way of eating but its just not coming off quick enough for me i feel. I know people say 'the slower it comes off the more it will stay off' which i am in no illusion of,i just feel ive wasted so many years of my life waiting and wanting to be beautiful,wanting to be the beautiful friend not the fat funny one in the corner who over compensates for her fatness by talking to much,when will it be my turn? im in such a quandry about what to do,do i stick with slimming world or do i give cambridge a go?please someone tell me what to do cause il be fucked if know........

Troublesome syns..........

Hi all,well this is my second blog and after having a fierce I am woman hear me roar day on slimming world today I have felt a bit wobbly,namely because I stupidly decided to have four delicious but ever so naughty hob nobs this morning thus using most of my daily syn allowance before the day has got started-big mistake,cause immediately after you think you can't have anymore of something you want it,so I have felt a bit wobbly,a bit shakey and wanting to raid the rest of the hob nobs or just generally be a bit naughty,a bit synful,but alas,I have si far managed to resist temptation,but on some days if those biscuits were here I would demolish them. This is indeed my weak point and normally I have to remove temptation as my willpower is not that of steel,more like cotton wool :) Another thing spurring me on is an impending shopping visit to London I have coming up the end of April which I'm so excited about,and I want to lose another three stone if I can by then as I don't want to still be shopping for things that make me look like 70's throwback carpet!lol hope you are all well if anyone actually reads my blog and keep strong it will be worth it in the end and also I need to take my own advice ;) xx

Half way into the new year slimming week!

Hi everyone, to those who know me you will know i embarked on a slimmingworld journey in september 2011 and have so far lost 1st 7lb (it was 1st 9lb but then christmas happened......oops) looking at this now i think oh my goodness-only that much lost since september?!come on! although since then ive only had three weeks that i've gained in that time i really could of lost a hell of lot more if i hadnt of had these little cheat days here and there or some weeks where i've maintained,had i not of done that i may be a little further along in my weight loss journey,but you know what?im only human and weight loss is hard!those people who have never had food or body issues i envy you i really do but for those that have you know exactly what im talking about. Everything starts tommorow. Diet starts tommorow. Il do that fitness dvd tommorow. I'l be able to fit into those clothes next month. Then tommorow comes and next month comes then all of a sudden its a year later and your actually in a worse position than you were before. Well im sick of living in tommorow,i want my life to start TODAY. Enough of broken promises and half arsed trys,im 25 and a young mom yet look older and dont live life to the full because me weight holds me back. I dare say there will be ups and downs on my way but i really want this so bad,im sick of the clothes on offer to me of someone my size looking like curtains from the 70's! So here i go,im now going at this full force now and hoping,no,KNOWING that i will get there. I have another 7 stone to lose to hit my target and this year will be the year it will happen,not tommorow not next year, THIS year. so watch this space ;) xx